A Little Romance
Early intervention, diagnosis, developmental milestones: A lot of the discussion on this blog focuses on the needs of children, of autistic children, and certainly we parents have a lot to think about in educating our kids with an eye constantly on the future. One often hears regrets about an autistic child “never going to get married” and “never falling in love.” But certainly it is simply a myth to think that an autistic person, whatever the extent of their disabilities, cannot love and, too, fall in love. Stars in the Sky is a dating agency for persons with learning difficulties in London: The November 15th Age.com (Australia) reviews a TV program about the agency with the “startlingly insensitive” title of Madly in Love:
It’s a startlingly insensitive title for a program about a dating agency for people with mental problems, but never mind. The clients of the Stars in the Sky agency in London all have learning difficulties, a catch-all term that covers everything from autism to Down syndrome and severe attention-deficit disorder. They’re a lovely bunch for the most part, enthusiastic but apprehensive about the prospect of going on a date.
First up is Apu, an anxious, excitable, autistic 35-year-old who has never been on a date before and is paired up with a fellow Bangladeshi Briton. Their conversation at a coffee shop is slightly surreal - Apu’s date smoothly segues from relating an anecdote about a relative dying in childbirth to asking Apu what sort of movies he likes (King Kong is his fave, as it happens). They hit it off and we get to follow them as they and their supportive but circumspect parents meet to lay down some ground rules for their budding relationship.
A date between a girl with Down Syndrome and 19-year-old, Mickey, who has a “particularly bad case of attention-deficit disorder, a lot of anger and a propensity to launch into foul-mouthed tirades at passers-by on the street,” does not have such a happy ending.
It was the case on the beach last year that Jim noted that some pre-adolescent girls were puzzled that Charlie showed zero interest in them……
Photo courtesy of Moonchyld’s Clan via Flickr
10 opinions for A Little Romance
resilientmom
Nov 15, 2007 at 8:14 pm
Oh, Kristina, to hope is to dream. Would our son find love? The realm of possiblity is quite the joy.
xr
Patrick
Nov 15, 2007 at 8:27 pm
All in due time. /grin
Kristina Chew, PhD
Nov 15, 2007 at 11:05 pm
I think Charlie will—-once upon a time there was a girl in his class when he was 5 and he had to hold her hand, gave her his lunch—-then she got put in another class. I guess, as for anyone, it’s maintaining a relationship that’s the harder part—
mcewen
Nov 15, 2007 at 11:24 pm
My boys have all the right instincts and check the marital status of all their therapists and teachers. London leads the world again!
Cheers
theASMan
Nov 15, 2007 at 11:29 pm
>>>
drags a girl who has Down syndrome out the back for a snog and tries to get her to have sex with him. She declines, gives him a fake telephone number and at home later on explains that she was looking after herself because he didn’t have enough respect for her.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Nov 15, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Yes, that section about the 19 year old with ADD was not good to read. She knew waht she was doing, sounds like…
Charlie mostly checks out therapists’ and teachers’ car colors!
theASMan
Nov 16, 2007 at 12:06 am
most of my post is gone. It wasnt posted
theASMan
Nov 16, 2007 at 12:07 am
The quote above cant be true. We all know that those with downs syndrome will never be able to function in this world. Where is the cure for downs movement today to protest? They had walks for a cure. Oh that is right they developed the prenatal test. the cure movement died. Who needs a cure when you can “nip the problem in the bud” so to speak.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Nov 16, 2007 at 12:18 am
Thanks for reposting, sorry about that!
Marcie
Nov 16, 2007 at 9:57 am
I think it’s important to keep in mind that one can be happy being single, whether or not one has any inclination to date, marry, etc. For instance, I made the decision a long time ago, for various reasons, not to have children. It’s ironic, but also fitting, for me to have become involved in autism advocacy.
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