Charlie’s His Name
The June 22nd Wall Street Journal notes that parents, ever more worried about making sure a child stands out from the crowd, are hiring “nameologists”—name your baby consultants—and consulting websites like BabyNames.com for that perfect moniker for junior. Little did I know that naming babies has become a business—that of “baby name branding.”
“Names have become a matter of fashion and taste,” says Harvard sociologist Stanley Lieberson.
Not everyone is happy about this development. Albert Mehrabian, a professor emeritus of psychology at UCLA and author of “The Baby Name Report Card,” has conducted surveys of how people react to different names. He found that more common names elicited positive reactions, while unusual names typically brought negative responses. To him, giving children names that stand out may ultimately be no different than sending them to school with their hair dyed blue. “Yes, you can have someone stand out by being bizarre, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be good,” he says.
Charlie does stand out from the crowd—-a tall boy who speaks in not-always-well-articulated two words phrases on the New York subway—-and the crowd is a bit more likely to know his name, due to me calling out “Charlie!” when he wanders off. For the record, Charlie was named for my grandfather, my father’s father, “Yeh Yeh” (in Cantonese)—he was Charlie Chew. Charlie’s name is actually Charles but so far no one has called him this except for the neurologist, and—since we were in an examination room and the doctor was looking at him—Charlie knew that he was being addressed. (”Charles” always sounds overly formal to my ear.)
A recent discussion about crowds, and being in public places, and the dread subject of how do you teach a child what to do if he is lost, brought up the issue of how Charlie says his name. I was speaking to Charlie’s home ABA consultant; we were thinking about new phrases to include on his “Verbal Imitation” program. People tend to ask me “What’s his name?”; I then tend to turn to Charlie and say “What’s your name?” Charlie long ago learned how to answer “what’s your name” but he tends to say it very quickly. “Charlie Fisher” becomes a slur of vowel sounds and a sssss, and in almost every case I have had to say “his name’s Charlie” myself. On thinking about what might be the first thing said to Charlie, if lost—-or even just to those moments when I am with him and someone asks “what’s your name?”—-the ABA consultant and I agree, got to work on him saying his name.
Once, I would have said to the consultant, “Oh, he already knows how to answer that question, he’ll say it fine if he slows his speech down, let’s work on something else.” Now I prefer to emphasize the quality—the recognizable-ness—of what Charlie says to anyone: So “Charlie Fisher” is on the Verbal Imitation list. Of course we keep constant, constant, constant watch on Charlie when we are out (in New York city, for sure) but it only takes hearing about one child who wandered and was lost and not found until too late to make a parent realize, I have to think about everything. (Including ID bracelets or labels on Charlie’s clothes—but I always worry about Charlie taking off a bracelet; one mother mentioned a shoe ID to attach to shoe laces but Charlie does not wear shoes with laces.)
I don’t know what a nameologist or a “professional name consultant” might read into Charlie’s name, or who else sports the same moniker—-I’m simply more than glad that Charlie can say his own name to the world.
6 opinions for Charlie’s His Name
laurentius-rex
Jun 25, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Well I am content with my name even though it seems that it is inordinately common in this world.
That is why to distinguish it I have adopted the Latin moniker :)
I do remember the point at which I was taught that my name was not Larry as I had thought it to be up till then with no idea that it even had a surname attached, but Laurence and not only that, but that there was a proper way to spell it.
I was the only Laurence in my primary school so I can be forgiven for thinking at the time that it was unique.
Daisy
Jun 25, 2007 at 11:06 pm
Nameologists? My name is a family name — my grandmother’s maiden name is my first name. Luckily, it works. My children have names we like. Period. No deep meaning or “ology” involved.
Melanie
Jun 27, 2007 at 12:03 am
Kristina,
Bobby can’t tell anyone what his name is yet, so I found medic-alert-type plastic tags that fit on Velcro-tab shoes. This product has worked very well for me: KidTagz (http://www.kidtagz.com/).
And while there are lots of Bobbys in the southern US, our Bobby is named for his grandfathers, and we think he’s quite unique!
Uthur (from the town by the sea)
Jun 27, 2007 at 4:47 am
Found your blog by following a link from JigZone, and then explored a little. Came to this page after reading the post about Dennis Maltez.
Charlie is lucky to have you as a parent. By virtue of your PHD, without even knowing your discipline, you are better equiped to both understand and deal with his special needs. Your income is probably a little better than most who have been blessed with autistic children, which can really reduce the stress money or the lack of it can provide, especially with a child with special needs. It is because of a lack of your assets that group homes exist and many autistic children end up as wards of the state shelved in these group homes. Then, the pay level most group homes provide doesn’t attract the most capable people.
My wife spent some time working in a group home for special needs children which included a few who were autistic. Now, she works for the public schools in the special education area, again dealing with children with special needs. These two jobs she has done because she wants to, not because she is limited to such work. While she finds equally motivated co-workers in the public schools, in the group home she was a rariety, which is a shame.
If you want to see less stories like the one about Dennis Maltez, I would suggest that you campaign for better compensation for those willing to do this work…in order to attract more people like my wife and less like the workers that took care of poor Dennis.
While Charlie is lucky to have a parent as capable as you are, there are probably more Dennis’ out there than there are Charlies. It looks like the work you have put into this website will go a long way to help those Dennis’, however I believe that campaigning for better compensation for those who work with the Dennis’ is just as important.
Thank you for letting me pull my soap box out of the closet and dust it off.
Uthur
p.s., please take a look at my web site, especially the section that starts with http://www.geocities.com/uthurs_alcove/gay.html
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Jul 2, 2007 at 2:19 am
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