Cries For Help: Mother Abandons Teenaged Son to State
A few days ago, I asked, What is ‘best’ when there’s autism in the family?, in regard to an article in the September 2nd Arizona Republic is specifically about a family’s decision to place one of their six children, Colin Abernethy, in a group home to “save” their family. A similar story appears in today’s Mercury: The Voice of Tasmania about a family with a single mother, a 16-year-old son with “severe autism,” a teenager daughter with Asperger’s syndrome, and a baby brother.
The article focuses on one aspect of the 16-year-old son’s behavior, sexual assault, and the family’s situation—-the mother has abandoned her son to the state government—seems, among much else, to testify to a pressing need to think about how to help autistic teenagers as they enter puberty, and about sexuality, and how to help families. Mum’s cry for help is the title of the Mercury article; one hears the son’s cry for help in it too.
5 opinions for Cries For Help: Mother Abandons Teenaged Son to State
gettingthere
Sep 7, 2007 at 6:23 pm
I followed the link, read the article and was appalled. It’s not only Tasmania that doesn’t seem to have an adequate response to this burning issue. Small Asperger and autistic children grow up to become teenagers then adults. They experience the same feelings and urges as other NT young people but are much less prepared to cope with them. And parents are at a loss.
There’s an excellent Canadian pyschologist who deals specifically with AS and teenaged sexuality. Her name is Isabelle Henault and she wrote a book called “Asperger’s Syndrome And Sexuality: From Adolescence Through Adulthood”. She works closely with Tony Attwood and gives conferences at the international level. My own 12-year attended one of her conferences in June and was delighted with the information he got. He’s likes to plan ahead and wanted to know from an expert source what awaited him “when the time comes.”
amy
Sep 8, 2007 at 12:25 am
Um, can we be careful about the generalizations, please? I just came from a celebration where a painfully “press the button and I will lecture at you for hours with odd inflections” man, who happens to be a charming person and an internationally-respected expert in his field, launched into a disquisition on the history of pink as a favorite color for girls. He’s happily married with two nice and decidedly odd kids. The lecture was prompted by my very pink daughter’s finding something else pink to carry around.
I think we coped. Without conferences, even.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Sep 8, 2007 at 1:17 am
Jim attended a panel on adolescents and sexuality when he went to the ASA two years ago: He remarked about how one young woman was in disagreement with the group’s movie choice (Wedding Crashers), her choice being Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
gettingthere
Sep 8, 2007 at 5:39 am
Sorry Amy, didn’t mean to generalize. It’s just that I’ve met some older Aspie teenagers and young adults who talked of problems and struggles I never dreamt of. Several of them recounted how they completely misunderstood or misinterpreted flirting and got badly hurt. I wanted desparately to spare my son that.
What I wanted to say and said badly was that puberty is a difficult time for some parents when their spectrum child starts exploring their sexuality. Some parents admitted that they hadn’t really thought about it and somehow hoped it would never happen. Some children cope, some don’t cope so well and there seems little help out there for the ones not doing so fine and their families.
My soon-to-be teenager is coping well with all the changes going on in his body and emotions. However, he told me he wanted specific information, suitable for an Aspie teen and not just the general stuff for NT kids.
His curiosity was satisfied by attending the Isabelle Henault conference and reading her book. He didn’t agree with or understand everthing in the book but he claims it gives him an idea of what to expect “when the time comes”. Not like when he entered school at the deep end and promptly sank to the bottom. Other children might not need or want that or may require a different approach.
Regan
Sep 8, 2007 at 4:40 pm
I believe that the son who was removed from the home was not the child with Asperger’s. Clearly with the number of people being sexually assaulted at the level of intensity stated, the situation had moved well beyond coping. Perhaps this will give the family a chance to regroup and figure out their next steps.
In re: sexuality issues, this might be of interest.
Sexuality Education Overview
Peter Gerhardt, Ed.D.
http://www.talkautism.com/Components/Video/Video.aspx?v=6
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