Disruptive Child = Autistic Child (according to some people)
This Associated Press story about autistic children and disruptive behavior has been making the rounds of news outlets and websites—-Jen Miller of Tacoma, whose daughter is autistic, writes this in the News Tribune:
….it’s funny how easy it is for some to complain when they haven’t walked a day in an autistic parent’s shoes.
Miller refers to a number of instances of autistic children whose “disruptive behavior” has been the subject of more than a little public discussion and judgment and reminds us, you just never know what might be going on.
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POSTED IN: Family, Stereotypes
5 opinions for Disruptive Child = Autistic Child (according to some people)
Frog's Mom
Aug 17, 2008 at 2:23 am
Every time I speak about autism to a service club or other group I’m always asked “What can I do to help?” I always include these two tips -
If my talk has intrigued you, get involved in the life of a child or adult with autism, they will have a lot to teach you.
When you are in a public place and you see what you think is odd or unruly behavior and you start to hear yourself think “my child would never . . .” or “If that parent would only . . .” stop yourself and remember this talk. You don’t always know what is really going on.
People have come back to tell me how this resonated with them. I know that I will never get everyone to think twice, but I am grateful for those who do.
halfrabbit
Aug 17, 2008 at 8:13 am
Frog’s Mom, your talk sounds interesting. Is there a chance you’ve recorded one and it’s floating around on the internet?
Frog's Mom
Aug 17, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Thats an interesting idea. I haven’t recorded one yet, and now I’m making the rounds again doing my Autism update talk. I might just put one together for the internet and for members in my community to refer too.
Thanks halfrabbit!
Kristina Chew, PhD
Aug 17, 2008 at 2:33 pm
And then somehow this article ends up in Memphis Commercial-Appeal with this title: Living with autism: Public access or not?.
VisualVox
Aug 18, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Hmmmm… this brings back memories.
When I was growing up as a “disruptive child,” my parents looked to their community of faith for support, and I’m not sure they got much of it. My father was a minister in a small church till I was 10 years old, and something tells me now that he may have been let go from his pastorate in part because of me and my wild and uncontrollable nature (35 years ago, such things just weren’t tolerated, which I suppose is why so many of us ended up in institutions — kudos to my parents for never putting me away, not that they had the money to do it, anyway). My parents always told me he lost his job because he took an unpopular stance against the Viet Nam War, but now that I think about it, my disruptions during church services and my general “unladylike” wildness certainly didn’t help him pastor his flock.
When we moved to the country (perhaps, at least in part, in hopes of finding an area that was more stable for me — we had lived in a small city till then, and it was quite chaotic), we “tried out” a number of churches, and the church we eventually joined was small at first. And very cohesive. It grew quickly, however, after we joined, and it started to fill up with respectable, upwardly mobile people who didn’t quite know what to do with me. I was blissfully oblivious, much of the time, to the meaning behind the looks and whispers and stern words… but I think my parents really took a lot of hits from folks because of me. And some of my best friends were specifically told to steer clear of me and forbidden to hang out with me by their own parents. And this was when I was a teenager and learning to socialize (at last).
As someone on the autistic spectrum, I’m pretty conflicted about how my behavior was handled by my parents. I shudder to think of the pain and embarrassment I caused them without knowing or intending it. I’m also bothered that they didn’t look for ways to relieve my distress… that they took me into socially and sensorily overwhelming environments and expected me to deal with everything the same way they did. In many ways, I would have preferred to be in very different surroundings, but they insisted that I attend church with them, as demanding as it was. It just seems like it was a lose-lose situation… I agree that society needs to be more understanding and better educated, but I also believe that (in my case) steps need to be taken to A) relieve — or avoid — the sensory issues and overwhelm that just wreck my system and cause me to do things I DO NOT want to be doing… and B) maintain the integrity of environments where contemplation and peace need to prevail.
I suspect that the folks who wanted so much to mainstream me (despite the fact that I was wired very differently), didn’t fully realize that my outbursts and my difficulties are not only distressing to people around me, but were quite distressing to ME, who was watching myself do and say things I didn’t necessarily want to be doing, but could not help myself.
It’s bad enough finally realizing that you’re ticcing and spasming and vocalizing 10 minutes after you started and everyone around you is put off and looking at you like you’ve got three heads, all of which breathe fire and brimstone… but realizing that your loving parents have once again forced you into a social/environmental situation that’s highly distressing, because they want to “help you learn to integrate,” can be hard to take.
Integration and assimilation and mainstreaming can be quite overrated. Sometimes a little distance from the maddening crowd is a wonderful thing.
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