“‘My parents already had enough on their hands’”
So said Graham Seaton, the now-30-year-old brother of Burleigh, his older brother who has autism as quoted in Siblings of Disabled Have Their Own Troubles in the April 4th New York Times.
Charlie is our–an–only child. Autism parent friends who also have non-autistic children all cite the difficult balancing act of doing everything they can do for their autistic child while still parenting siblings. A friend once told me that his younger, non-autistic daughter would deliberately do things she ought not to, to get his wife’s and his attention.
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POSTED IN: Family
4 opinions for “‘My parents already had enough on their hands’”
Wendy
Apr 6, 2006 at 8:30 am
This post hit home for me. We have a special needs middle child and our older son is starting to be jealous of the fact that he does require so much more attention; plus, I tend to spend more time with him because he NEEDS it. Our other two kiddos realize that their brother is different and most of the time are very forgiving and patient but sometimes they get frustrated.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Apr 6, 2006 at 8:44 pm
I would say, as well they should!
I have had more than a few students in my college classes who have siblings, younger cousins, with autism. And they have more than the usual measure of compassion.
Karen
Mar 18, 2007 at 9:37 pm
My brother Scott — older by four years — is nonverbally autistic. Did I ever have a point in my life where I didn’t know Scott was autistic? I don’t really think so. My first complete sentence was “Once for Scotty, too, please.”
My sister Katie, having spent weekends & summers at his school as my grandmother volunteered as a woodworking instructor, has decided to become a special education teacher.
I guess we grew up with Scott’s autism to such a degree that it was always easy for us to forget it. I was telling some old stories about Scott the other day at work, and I found myself mimicking his hoo-hoo-hoos and boogga-boogga-booggas very well. I sounded a good deal like him (to my surprise).
I’d never mimicked the to the point where I was trying to sound like him — ocassionaly, someone in my family will go, “Yeah, Scott, booga-booga — change the channel if you want,” in the same way someone might say, in their adult voice, that a two-year-old may go potty, but can they? (No changing our words to fit in the way he said his).
It just made me think — I’ve grown up with him, and I speak his language, his words and manners — and not very many people have that opportunity.
Karen
Mar 18, 2007 at 9:41 pm
bwa, feel free to delete this, but I edited and wrote back a couple of times and ended up with a few misspellings. eeps. occasionally. *headdesk*
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