Never Say Never
My son Charlie has been home sick for these past three days (actually, we realized that he has probably been coming down with something since last Friday when he woke up at 3.30am and had trouble concentrating on his schoolwork as the day wore on). He has mostly been sleeping and—sitting on an old sofa across from him, his left arm tucked under his head just as he has done since he was a baby—I have been reflecting on things.
In particular, I have been thinking about all the times someone said, or I despairing thought, that is something that Charlie will never do—and then he has gone and done it.
- talking
- riding a bike without training wheels, using the hand brakes, in street traffic
- reading
- knowing to stop on the sidewalk before entering the street
What have you been told that you, or your child, will never do—–and then has done?
17 opinions for Never Say Never
Caroline
Mar 8, 2007 at 9:30 am
Hi Kristina,
its me again, asking for another teaching strategy post when you have time.
What ABA techniques did you use to teach Charlie how to ride a bike without training wheels (to overcome his fear of falling?) and to use his hand breaks?
What were the specifics instructions given to Charlie to assist him in picking it up?
Were you and your husband the sole teachers or was this part of the therapy?
(Too many therapists just sit in offices at the table with the same tired materials. The therapist that tackles the challenges of teaching a child to be in the world is rare and wonderful in my experience) My child has problems with motor planning and with listening to Mom.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Mar 8, 2007 at 9:52 am
A therapist got Charlie to start pedaling but it was Jim who did most of the bike teaching, and I have been asking him again and again to describe how he got Charlie to ride his bike. I’m working on it…..
Rochelle
Mar 8, 2007 at 10:05 am
We’re still working on the bike thing but something that worked wonders with my older son (NT) that I’m trying w/ Tobey is riding on a scooter first. My older son learned his balance on the scooter and then jumped on the bike with no problems.
I’m home with a sick kid today, too. Tobey, two weeks ago, had strep throat, mono, and a sinus infection all at the same time. Now, we’re onto the flu. (Geesh) At least I’m able to get caught up on my grading.
Is there anything more sad than a hyperactive kid who isn’t hyperactive?
Caroline
Mar 8, 2007 at 10:09 am
Thank you Kristina,
I’m sure the process is probably hard to describe and put into words.
My husband is wonderful, but he does not have the patience to teach (to teach me anything either nothing to do with fears and motor planning deficits) so it does fall all to me. I just need those little tricks of the trade to get my child over the fears of not being able to plan to stop. It was sheer luck that my child can peddle, and we are working on the training wheels.
About my request, I just thought you might have written a post that I could not find.
I’d rather you relaxed and read a movie magazine! :)
Kristina Chew, PhD
Mar 8, 2007 at 10:09 am
Charlie really wants to go back to school—-another item on my “never say never” list is that he would like school this much, like learning, after some rocky years. He’s been waking up at noon and calling for the schoolbus.
KC'sMommy
Mar 8, 2007 at 10:21 am
Point! Many ‘experts’ said K.C. would NOT point or show affection. He is pointing! With his pinky finger but pointing. He isn’t showing affection just yet, but man oh man we are so close! We have been working on it everyday and just yesterday I thought he was gonna “give me kiss” but he sniffed my face instead. I think that counts! Maybe that was his version of “kiss”. I was thrilled!!!
Charlie proves the experts are wrong. Man is the big guy determined or what? There are no limits to what Charlie can accomplish, he proves that everyday. I am so hoping that K.C. learns to do all those wonderful activites that Charlie does!
Hope he’s feeling better soon, it’s no fun being sick :(
Club 166
Mar 8, 2007 at 11:12 am
I never thought Buddy Boy would ever get rid of his training wheels. His main issues seemed to be balance and fear of falling.
He pretty much showed me how to help him with the fear of falling. After we put on his helmet and pads (wrist, elbow, and knee skating pads) he would drop to the pavement onto his hands and knees a couple of times purposely before mounting up on the bike. This gave him more confidence about falling.
For the balance part I basically used the gliding down a grassy hill method as described in this Bicycling magazine article.
The final thing we did was use a lot of gum and candy as incentives along the way, as we worked on skills in a big parking lot and grassy field.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Mar 8, 2007 at 11:36 am
I’m going through Autismland posts to on bike-riding:
- on teaching Charlie to pedal his tricycle, thanks to an ABA therapist
- on learning to use the hand brakes
Rochelle
Mar 8, 2007 at 11:41 am
KC’s Mommy–that’s too cute that he sniffed your face! I think it totally counts…
Autism Vox » Teaching Strategy #3: “We can ride bikes”
Mar 8, 2007 at 12:03 pm
[…] Caroline asked in a comment on the previous post, Never Say Never, how did Charlie learn to ride his bike without the training wheels? To use the hand brakes? What specific instructions did we use? And who taught him? […]
mcewen
Mar 8, 2007 at 12:11 pm
My list would be much too long, but to Caroline above - the bike thing is a sore point - we tried every ’season’ but he wouldn’t even sit on the darned contraption. Every year the biggest child would get a new bike and they’d all move up one size, but training wheels or no training wheels he wouldn’t sit on it.
Then a couple of months back [out of NOWHERE] he sat on it and wobbled off on his own, no training wheels nothing, extraordinary! Haven’t looked back since and he’s already as ‘fast’ as his big sister. No ABA for that, insufficient parent input too, all the credit goes to him, alone!
Cheers
Shannon
Mar 8, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Now that Lola has her diagnosis, we were struggling with what education route to take with her - a special-needs preschool in our school district (as her psych first recommended) or intensive ABA therapy (as the psych later recommended after Lola was not “compliant” in her cognitive evaluation - harumph!). We decided to give the preschool a try for a few months. While I hoped for the best, tried “creative visualization” techniques, etc., I honestly NEVER imagined that Lola (just one week before her 3rd birthday) would (1) willingly ride the bus there(!), (2) sit in circle with the other kids, or (3) not have regular Lola-esque tantrums when things didn’t go her way. Boy, was I wrong! The first day was a bit rough, but she still sat in circle, and by the second day there were no tears whatsoever! Just goes to show you that, despite how well we know our kids, they are their own best judge and advocate.
Penny
Mar 8, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Live to see his first birthday. Or his second. Or his third.
My son is 11 now, and living every minute.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Mar 8, 2007 at 1:12 pm
mcewnen: So he’s a natural……
Kassiane
Mar 8, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Things I’d never do. Heh.
-read (which I was already doing)
-talk (which I did several months after the eval)
-go to regular school
-move out
-have a job
-play sports
-go to dance class, gymnastics, prom, all that girly stuff
-have friends
yeah. welcome to 1987…
Kristina Chew, PhD
Mar 8, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Speak at national conferences……
Julia
Mar 8, 2007 at 11:33 pm
No one has said “never” about S. to me.
I have no idea when he’ll do anything in particular. I have a number of pleasant surprises at times….
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