Stuff for Autism: Toothpaste, Vodka…….

by Kristina Chew, PhD on October 19th, 2007

Autism has been referred to as the “disease du jour” and even as a candidate for a “master illness” (see Ann Hulbert in Slate back in March): It is the “engineers’ disease” (as in the constant rumors that Bill Gates has Asperger’s Syndrome; see also this video on the diagnosis of Dilbert); when it is “severe, there is a “much more profound isolation.” A sort of”anti-technological paranoia” has indeed by fomented by this, Hulbert notes, and humans’ damaging of the environment regularly cited as the culprit: “Mercury in childhood vaccines, many anguished parents believe, is turning responsive babies into unreachable children at an epidemic rate.” Autism is seen as the disorder of a hyper-technological age that nonetheless believes in going green: Various special diet protocols for autistic children call for consumption of antibiotic-free poultry, foods free of Jenny-McCarthy’s-son-has-autism age, one celebrity after another is doing their part for (and perhaps rather in the “fight” against autism). One product after another–such as Go Smile toothpaste, Kellogg’s Rice Crispies (which are not, by the way, gluten-free)—has been put in service of raising funds for autism. And the latest is…….. vodka. Specially, the world’s first “ultra-premium” rice vodka, Kai Vodka:

Kai, recently made its launch in California, and is already becoming the new ‘it’ drink with its Lychee flavored vodka. As Kai’s popularity grows, Bender will continue to contribute to more charitable organizations and events.

But what if its popularity does not grow (are Americans ready for Lychee flavor in their beverages…….).

At this rate, I’m anticipating the Autism Limited Edition vehicles of various cars. They could have pre-installed child safety locks on the back doors; interiors that don’t show stains, are easy to clean, and feel cool even on burning hot summer days; AV set-ups (well, at least a way to hook up an iPod or MP3 player with ease); seatbelts that no one but a parent can unfasten. And, they would be very reasonably priced (for all of those autism families on a too-tight budget due to expenses from paying for therapists, doctors, evaluations, lawyers……) and (since there is a lot of driving to be done to all of those appointments, and because one’s child is very fond of rides in the car—that motion) get great gas mileage.

This is all fanciful thinking, of course—-though if autism keeps getting attention, funding, and “disorder of the times” status, who knows who the next sponsor will be.