Success for All Children of All Differences
A decision by Palm Beach city commissioners to allow a gay and lesbian community center, Compass, Inc., to take over the Mid-County Senior Center building in Lake Worth (FL), instead of a charter school for children with disabilities including ADHD and autism, has led to an exchange of letters in the Palm Beach Post. On December 11th, it was noted that “confused and angered parents, teachers and students from the Academy of Positive Learning attended the Nov. 29 meeting and questioned why they were not told the commission preferred a community center at the senior center building.” J. Gros’s letter was published in the December 23rd Palm Beach Post:
Lake Worth caters to sexual appetite over severe autism and disability in its decision to allow the takeover of the Mid-County Senior Center building by Compass vs. the Academy of Positive Learning, (”Gay, lesbian center gets Lake Worth OK,” Dec. 11).
What’s happened to a society that prioritizes homosexuality over kids’ success? We should be ashamed of ourselves and hold accountable the city commissioners of Lake Worth.
Nancy Verhelst’s response was published today, January 5th.
I am writing in response to, “Why does Lake Worth give gay center priority?” Dec. 23. The writer denounced the decision by the Lake Worth Commission to put the Compass Center at the senior center site. As the very proud mother of a beautiful, talented daughter who happens to be gay, I take offense at the notion that her success is any less important than that of an autistic child.
It is because of this attitude that centers like Compass are so important. As with autism, our children did not choose to be gay. If people would take the time to educate themselves, and not be bigoted and unkind, perhaps centers such as Compass would not be needed. Until then, bravo to the Lake Worth Commission for finally putting the interests of our children first.
It is of course unfortunate that there was not space for both the gay and lesbian community center and for the Academy of Positive Learning . I am an autism mother and more than mindful of the need for more specialized programs and schools for children with autism and other disabilities. What troubles me in this exchange of letters is the suspicion that the needs of one group of children who are different appears to have been prioritized over the needs of another group of children who are different. As Verhelst notes, the success of both groups of children—of all children—is important. And when one’s child is “different,” I think it all the more imperative to foster their needs and their success, in communities that are supportive and understanding of their difference; of what makes them more than special.
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POSTED IN: Disability Rights, Education, Family, Parenting, Sexuality, Stereotypes
3 opinions for Success for All Children of All Differences
Jez Rourke
Jan 6, 2007 at 3:20 am
In a perfect world, everyone’s child would receive every service they need, wouldn’t they? I’m just gonna lay my cards on the table and not even bother to attempt diplomacy because I’m not in the mood.
I have many many friends who are gay and many many friends who are autistic. I’m sorry but it is slightly impossible to try to compare the two. Homosexuality is not a mental discorder, a neurological disorder and there is no scientific evidence that dictates that “people are born that way.” It has become a very convenient for the gay community to refer to it as such when it works for their political rhetoric and to deny when it doesn’t. In any case, “the gay gene” theory was based on a sample size of 12. Seriously. If that’s science let me know.
Second point “children” are not gay. Children are 3, 4, 5 , 6, etc years old. Gay children are not using the facility in question. I seriously doubt it will make any difference in the “success” of any of it’s users. What kind of success are we talking about anyway?
Autism, on the other hand, is a serious neurological disorder. If autistic children are denied the multitude of services they require they may never speak, they may never tie their shoes, need I go on?
I believe that without services of any kind, most gay people do not require assistance with functioning in this world. For years and years gay people have sucessfully lived in a world where they may be atypical, but they are not neurologically impaired.
Does that not seem a little bit different? I don’t mean to be sarcastic, I honestly don’t. But when will it end??? People who choose an alternative lifestlyle have needs equal to (or in this case as important or more important) than children, toddlers, grade school aged children with a neurological disorder????????
The notion of this is utterly absurd and no doubt has more to do with the fact that gay adults who will use this community center are typically in higher income brackets, they patronize businesses in the area, and are economically a great thing for any community.
Which is the saddest thing I could imagine. The mother of the beautiful gay daughter clearly does not know anything about autism if she thinks her daughter’s chances of success are somehow comparable to the chances of “success” of an autistic child.
In fact, I’d love to hear her definition of “success.” For her daughter “success” would mean happiness and marriage and a good career in world where she is fully accepted.
She should know that the parents of autistic children have a much different definition of “success” for thier children: Like maybe one day they’ll stop banging their head against the wall, maybe one day, they’ll speak their first word, maybe, just maybe they’ll be able to to live independently as adult and not be institutionalized.
I’m really too disgusted to even think about this but one thing is just gnawing at me. Every parent of an autistic child that I know (which is 50+) has said the exact same words at one time or another “I can never die.” I have to be here forever for this child.
All my friends are gay. I have never heard one of their parents say those words. We are comparing sexual orientation and lifestyle choices with autism and it’s completely disturbing and sickening. Does it make parents of gay people feel so much better to believe their children were born that way and that it’s somehow just like being autistic? Well it’s not, there is no conclusive science to say gay people are born that way, and if there was, it’s still a lifestyle and behavior choice. No one has to act upon sexual desire. That’s a choice.
Autism is not a choice.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jan 7, 2007 at 3:04 am
Jez, thanks for this very thoughtful response—I don’t know more of the specifics of how the decision was made; what saddened me most about the article and the letters was how divisive such a decision can be. (I wonder if the city council had any idea of what would happen as a result!) Yes, autism is not a choice, and there are certainly not (and it seems, never) enough places for kids with autism and other disabilities to go to school. I am curious to know if the school might have any other chances for a new site.
cruachan
Nov 20, 2007 at 1:24 pm
“We are comparing sexual orientation and lifestyle choices with autism and it’s completely disturbing and sickening.”
Argh. Being both a dyke and an aspie, this sentence stung me in the heart. I didn’t choose either, and identified both last year (at age 17). Though I agree that children don’t know yet if they will be gay or not, and it doesn’t mean a problem for them in their early years, and it is also true that homosexuality does not have such a great impact on one’s life (as in ‘does not prevent or jeopardize staying alive on their own’), but come on, it was not so long ago when gays had their own place in the DSM. And I think we had it rightfully.
If I had to decide in this particular question, it would be a “which one of my hands should be severed”-kind of decision.
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