The Bicoastal Boy: Where Will Charlie Live When He’s Older?
Brooklyn is to Manhattan as California’s East Bay (Oakland, Berkeley) is to San Francisco: Today’s New York Times draws these comparisons:
….there is a young, earnest population that is beating a path between artsy, gentrifying neighborhoods in Brooklyn and their counterparts in the Bay Area, especially East Oakland and the area south of Market Street in San Francisco, or SoMa.
The New York Times describes some 20- and 30- something year olds who, in search of a place with a “messy urbanism”—-a urban, creative vibe of the sort found in edgier city neighborhoods before gentrification sets in—-shuttle between the East and West—the Left—coasts. Maybe this transcontinental connection is now found among “creative people” in search of “alternative art and music scenes” and “a tolerance for diversity,” but mention of the East and West coasts means something more particular to me.
We live, as oft noted here, in what is called north-central New Jersey and frequently cross the Hudson in to New York City. I’m from California and, too, northern California, and Oakland and Berkeley are where I grew up, via Oakland’s Chinatown (just past the shores of Lake Merritt) and Telegraph and Shattuck Avenues in the university town where you’ll still find People’s Park. My husband Jim is from Jersey and the state has been the best place for Charlie to go to school; we left two jobs, financial security, and a lot more when we drove away from the Midwest in 2001 and moved back here. The three of us all like to be near New York, the site of many adventures, and can hardly wait to get back into the Atlantic Ocean down the shore—and we sure like the good education Charlie has had here in Jersey.
While liking the Garden State much—it is a garden spot for us—my mind’s always directed westward to the Golden State I grew up in. I have a large extended family, most of whom lives in northern California; my cousins have children who are just a bit older than Charlie. Jim and I have often talked about possibly moving out west when Charlie is an adult, as there will be many members of my family to support and help him, and include him in the life of the family. Going back and forth between the East and West coasts is a lifestyle choice, one might say: Charlie will most likely end up living in one place or the other, and it’s more than important that he feel at home in both places. With Charlie’s school schedule, we have usually only been going out to California once a year at Christmastime. I’m hoping that we can visit briefly in the summer, to see my numerous relatives (and my 102 year old grandmother, Ngin-Ngin, in particular), to familiarize Charlie with California so that he’s a bicoastal boy, at home in two places, because we just don’t know.
(One thing I do know is that I think the New York Times’s equation of Brooklyn with the East Bay is not entirely accurate: Better to compare the East Bay—-Bezerkley and Oakland where “there is no there there” with New Jersey, a place where you’ll find the Meadowlands, a certain “messy urbanism,” and more than a bit of autism education going on.)
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POSTED IN: Adulthood, California, Living Arrangements, New Jersey, new york
15 opinions for The Bicoastal Boy: Where Will Charlie Live When He’s Older?
Karen
Mar 30, 2008 at 10:33 am
Charlie will have a couple friends in the East Bay too — we live in Castro Valley, about 20 minutes from Oakland/Berkeley. :-)
Kristina Chew, PhD
Mar 30, 2008 at 11:01 am
My dad used to work there—–
B
Mar 30, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I wanted to mention (off-topic) that Autism the Musical is now available on hbo.com. I watched it last night; it’s definitely worth watching.
Regan
Mar 30, 2008 at 6:19 pm
(So if Berkeley and Oakland are Brooklyn, does that make Emeryville the Bronx?) I’m an old East Bay girl, but that was a lifetime ago.
I hope you get out to see your family too…nice that Charlie has an extended system of folks to be in his corner. (Don’t forget to send snapshots :-).
Kristina Chew, PhD
Mar 30, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Maybe Queens……… Getting our plane tickets right now!
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Bonnie Sayers
Apr 23, 2008 at 8:17 pm
It is just the opposite here, although I have no plans on leaving CA since the services for the boys are better as they get older, or so I think, but really do not know and Nick wants to work at an animal sanctuary.
I am thinking of going after high school years down to San Diego for there is a school there that Mark Rimland goes to that I have heard highly of and Sea World is there also.
If Nick changes his interest again from Big Cats to Dinosaurs we researched for a school report in fifth grade U of CA at Berkeley and would go up there.
My family is all in NJ but I am doing this all by myself without their two cents, that would be straining on me and also negative.
Jane S
Jun 6, 2008 at 8:22 am
Kristina, I noticed the similarities in our lives from your post. I had just moved to NJ too from the Midwest in search of a better school for my daughter. We left our jobs, financial security, family and friends. My side of the family is from Asia. I do wonder and worry about where my daughter will live when she’s older….
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jun 6, 2008 at 10:24 am
@Jane S, great to “meet” you—-are you in northern or central Jersey? “Leaving it all” was a huge and scary step for us, and I feel lucky every day. Hope you’ve found the right school for your daughter—if I may ask, how old is she? Very very best—-
Jane S
Jun 6, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Kristina, I am in Central NJ. She has just been accepted by one of the schools (and rejected by 13) for the next academic year. The one hour commute on the free way is not something I am looking forward to. I know how you feel about the “leaving it all”. It is still scary for us. She’s 11.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jun 6, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Charlie’s the same age—-an hour? Will she be on a bus?
I know how the rejections feel. We tried to get Charlie into many private schools when he was 7 and were told that he was “too old.”
Jane S
Jun 6, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Yes, an hour on the bus.
We were told the same thing …that she is too old. I have difficulty coming to terms with that..how could she (and Charlie) be too old when she is only 11 and has a whole life ahead of her?? On a macro level, where will all these children go? There are about 200 students on their wait lists.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jun 6, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I know exactly how you feel. We felt that we had nowhere to go……. We finally gave up on private programs and found a public one that has been very good for Charlie. I don’t even want to think of those wait lists!
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