The Power of Being Proactive
“His face lit up.”
That is a quote from Charlie’s teacher: He and his class went roller-skating this morning, Charlie for the first ever. As soon as he stood up on his skates and felt his feet gliding—rolling—moving smoothly—his whole face changed, his teacher told me. She talked about how two aides had stayed at his side and about teaching him to stop; as she talked, I thought about how nice (bland word but the best word) it was to see his teacher’s name come up on my cell phone screen and know that this was not going to be a “Hello, Dr. Chew, this is the school nurse—-Charlie hit his head and I applied ice” sort of phone call, but a chat about………roller-skating.
Not having to anticipate those phone calls from the school nurse has made the difference in our lives. Two years ago, it seemed that we lurched from crisis to crisis–from one tough “incident” to the next; everyone sighed and nothing changed. I reflect all the time on our past experience—the current dilemma in our living situation pales by comparison, thanks to everyone for your too-kind words—and realize that Charlie was telling us, in the way that he could, that he wanted out of that classroom.
Advocating for Charlie has taught me the power of being proactive, of knowing in advance how certain situations might stoke anxiety in Charlie; of thinking about how I might bend my body to his, and try always to respond with love and acceptance and to communicate confidence in him: He can do it. A restraint is a reactive response: Things should not have gotten to that point and if they have, the teaching methods (and the teaching philosophy) need to be re-examined and changed.
Today was the first time Charlie roller-skated because I feel very nervous on skates; I have a lot of trouble stopping without crashing (Jim, on the other hand, recalls skating on ponds in his Connecticut boyhood………). And I suspect that I would communicate my nervousness—-my skating dis- or in-ability to Charlie. Knowing that he has had a good time at it with his teachers makes me think, we’ll have to try this now. Guess I’ll have to start practicing how to stop or, even more, to fall.
Next week’s field trip for Charlie is ice skating.
Photo courtesy of razzieswirl via Flickr
11 opinions for The Power of Being Proactive
KC's Mommy
Jul 19, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Way to go Charlie! Roller Skating is so much fun! Time for knee and elbow pads Mom :)
I loved roller skating as a kid and then went on to roller blades. Fell alot but the feeling you get on skates is so much fun, such a free feeling!
Daisy
Jul 19, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Wrist guards. Time for wrist guards. My daughter broke a wrist rollerblading at age 11; the first question everyone asked was, “Did she wear wrist guards?”
Jennifer
Jul 19, 2007 at 9:45 pm
You know — considering how much Charlie seems to like to be in motion, this doesn’t surprise me at all.
Makes me wonder what it is he likes — if the it’s the pressure of the air moving against him and the water surrounding him, the weightless, gliding feeling (in air and water) or whatnot.
I wonder if — if there even is such a thing — Charlie (given his love of music too) could do something like roller…dancing or something along those lines?
Justthisguy
Jul 19, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Hmm, how much do sailplane rides cost where y’all live? Silent flight…
To get back on topic, are you writing about four-wheeled skates with boots like the one in the picture, or the inline ankle-breaker (judging by their looks) “roller blades?”
When I think of skates, I think of the ones with steel wheels I had as a kid, the good ones trademarked “Union” which you could steer by leaning and which required a skate key to apply to one’s shoes.
Does anyone else remember skate keys?
AJ
Jul 20, 2007 at 12:21 am
I remember skate keys! (Does that date me?) The kind of skates that tightened against my sneakers….
Does anyone call them “sneakers” anymore?!?!
I have to think that this is proprioceptive input for Charlie. Figuring out where his body works in space. I think this is why Eleanor uses me as her personal jungle-gym in the den!
Kristina, I know what you’re saying….I often think (fear) that my fears about JP and Ely’s getting hurt are just that, and I tend to kind of hold them back….they’re MY fears, not theirs.
I need to get over that.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jul 20, 2007 at 12:31 am
I think I remember skate keys—-I had an orange plastic pair that went over my, yes, sneaker: Jim uses the word (and also “sneaks”) and Charlie does too about one particular pair of my shoes. I think Charlie was using the 4-wheeled skates as in the photo but I’ll check with his teacher.
Sailplaning, well, it would not be for me!
Justthisguy
Jul 20, 2007 at 12:40 am
Ah, for skates with keys to work properly, one needs real shoes with rigid leather soles. Believe me, I tried it with sneakers and it didn’t work.
P.s. Ooh, I get to correct a classics Professor! That would be “soaring”, not “sailplaning”, Ma’am!
Snerk!!
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jul 20, 2007 at 1:32 am
Snerk taken! I am glad to keep my feet on the ground!
Jen
Jul 21, 2007 at 7:40 pm
I remember a friend telling me about how they adapted her brother’s roller blades so that he could play roller hockey without actually knowing how to skate. She said they put screws between the wheels to keep them from moving. Perhaps that could work for you, however, i’m picturing clomping around rather than skating with that method.
Justthisguy
Jul 21, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Charlie might take to soaring, though. You never know. Of course that is about the most expensive sport that exists.
Then there’s hang gliding, reputedly even more fun, but has the problem of lots of broken necks etc. when landing the things.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jul 21, 2007 at 10:39 pm
I suspect he would like hang gliding and soaring—-and I know I would not!
We’re planning now to get Charlie skates (and pads for elbows etc.)—think we’ll stick to just skating first before the hockey!
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