The R Word and Not So Nice Language
This was going to be yet another post about “Michael Savage’s savagery” with a nice elliptical reference to the Beats and Allen “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked” Ginsburg and the denial of disability with examination of Savage’s reference to a severely disabled sibling who died in a “’snake pit’” of a NYC “‘mental hospital’” and discussion of how Savage suggests that only HE knows disability and can therefore tell us that 99% of our autistic children aren’t autistic, just the products of our bad parenting.
I’d been reading post, article, editorial, another post, and more about Savage after (yet another) vigorous YMCA swim with Charlie and a trip for much-needed groceries, and inbetween grading papers (all done) and helping Charlie (when he let me) with his Leapster. Then I saw a post with this title:
is “special needs” a retarded term?
by Stephanie Klein, whom I had heard speak on Saturday at BlogHer. After we five speakers on the panel on special-needs parenting and blogging (detailed liveblog summary is here; thanks to happy katie), Klein (who has twins, one of whom, a boy, has special needs) asked about using the word “retarded” in reference to her son. Should this not be all right if the word is used in a (clearly, deliberately) humorous way? Klein has referred to her son’s pediatric walker as a “tard cart“; in her post, is “special needs” a retarded term?, she writes:
There’s a manifold of innocuous words that, given their context, become downright caustic. “That’s so gay,” for instance, seems harmless enough, except when you stop to consider that it’s a subtle way of inferring that things that are lame (also problematic), pathetic, or imbecilic are in essence “gay.” It’s a phrase I hope I haven’t repeated since I crimped my hair and pulled it into a banana clip, but I couldn’t promise as much. So, what did my use of the phrase “tard cart” possibly say about any of my latent feelings about mental and physical handicaps? I’d deleted it as soon as I realized what I’d written had hurt people, but after giving it more thought, I wonder what’s so bad about it? I hoped that bringing it up to a room full of women at the BlogHer ‘08 “Blogging About Our Children with Special Needs” panel might further my understanding.
When can you use a derogatory term (to take the sting out of it, or simply to be able to discuss it at all)? I believed that taking ownership of my situation and the words that were tied to it was empowering. Did others think so? Hopefully, I’d find out.
There was a pause after Klein asked her question (which included mention of her son being fitted for a helmet, something I’ve thought of too much myself) and Jennifer Graf Gronenberg, whose son has Down Syndrome, “very eloquently but firmly replied that she did not believe in using words that take away from our children’s dignity and humanity, that it was not okay” (in the words of another panel member, Shannon Des Roches Rosa).
In her own post, Klein writes that “proper PC-friendly terms both irritate and scare the shit out of me”; are people “too uptight”?
maybe it’s time we speak honestly about how we feel and with what we’re dealing without the pleasantries. There’s obviously an appropriate lexicon when it comes to speaking about disabilities. A socially- politically-sensitive way, where “mentally retarded” is, at the very least, replaced with “mentally challenged.” No one wants to insult anyone, especially with such heightened sensitivities, with a history implied, with a right way of approaching all that’s seen as going very wrong. As we all know, though, humor can be one of the best medicines.
I agree, the notion of being “politically correct” can lead one to feel that the Don’t Use Any Words That Might Hurt Somebody’s Feelings language police are censoring your every word. As the parent of a disabled child, humor is an essential item in getting through the day, a fierce IEP meeting, a really noisy moment in a really public place. Cleaning up messes that end in the bathroom and somehow started in the kitchen or in the car is definitely less onerous when approached with laughter (of a rather deadpan sort), especially when once you’ve cleaned the house, you still have to clean the car and leave the windows rolled down and pray it won’t rain (because you have no garage). Charlie certainly prefers to see Jim and me laughing and not getting overly Serious and Strained, even though the situation seems to call for it. Though Charlie’s own language is limited, he has shown himself to be highly attuned to the emotions and views that we communicate, in words and without. We always presume competence in Charlie.
I’ve regularly traced uses of “retard” and such in contemporary discourse, such as Big Brother contestant Adam Jasinski’s use of that term. Painful stuff, it is. I’ve found the term “mental retardation” less painful in thinking about it in terms of a diagnosis that is being less and less given to children, many of whom are now instead diagnosed with autism or as having an “autism spectrum disorder.” (Indeed, I’ve suspected, that my own son might have had “mental retardation” as his diagnosis instead of autism in a previous generation, due to his limited language.)
Still, it’s a term—like many terms in the disability—to deploy with care and to think always, how would I feel if that term were directed towards me?. Reading and communicating with autistic adults has taught me a lot about this, and continues to do so. It’s one thing for me as the parent of a disabled child to use certain words, even with humorous intent. But who’s to say how the person the word is directed towards might feel about it?
Klein’s post considers hurtful and cruel language as a whole; her point (as I understand it) is that, using “frowned upon words” is not a “failure” but a “strength.” It’s a way to address one’s fears (of having a child with cognitive disabilities, for instance); to learn to get a grip and a hold on it by taking charge of the words. “It allows us to reverse their power and reclaim it,” writes Klein. I see this, but I also see myself as a parent who’s not “taking on” the word for herself, but for her child, with the (unconscious, perhaps) assumption that that child might not understand the term addressed to him. I’m always wary of codes of what’s accepted and what’s not to say; language is always evolving and words’ meanings are ever changing. If one uses terms like “retard”—-however humorously—on the internet, there is a community of readers, the disability community (check out these blogs for a start—there’s many more) who’s long been thinking about the associations and unintended consequences of using such words.
Klein opens her post by referring to a much more salient example of language deployed with intent to harm:
The panelists introduced themselves, each sharing a small story that identified them as mothers of NICU twins, of a child with down syndrome, of a son with autism. Hearing one mother of an autistic child share a story of how she received a comment on her blog instructing her to go ahead and “drink some more mercury, so you can take care of another vegetable” made me ill. Disgusted, actually, with the capacity some people have to be so cruel.
That “mother of an autistic child” is me and, on reading Klein, I realized I slightly mischaracterized the comment, which I received a while ago from someone with the moniker of (surprise surprise) “Mercury Militia.” The comment actually said that, if I wanted to change myself to live in an autistic world, I should just drink mercury, and then my husband’d have two vegetables to water.
I decided not to post the comment (it was on this post, about the cure question); I do have it saved, along with some others of its ilk. As more than a few autism bloggers and others know, write that “there’s no link between vaccines or mercury and autism” or say that “there’s no autism epidemic,” and you will get some hateful responses, and maybe even find yourself pegged a secret advocate of “neurodiversity ideology” too. Last Saturday, at the closing keynote to BlogHer that Klein also participated in, Heather Armstrong of dooce noted that she does “most hateful comment” posts (she noted these are quite popular). I briefly considered doing such posts as I’ve a bit of a store of hateful comments, along with some posts on other people’s blogs that impugn me specifically. Again, I’m hardly alone, and less than super nice blog comments are nothin’ compared to the death threats and more that vaccine researchers have received. And let’s not get started at what, well, “not niceness” gets cast when some smell “government conspiracy about vaccines” in the air around them.
Sometimes it seems that “vaccine” is a more hateful word than any term referring to impaired cognitive or intellectual functioning.
Anyways. My policy remains, as it has been since I started blogging and someone told me to stop wasting my time at my computer instead of recovering my child, this:
Bring it on.
Really. The more the merrier, and I know if I write some things, certain responses—invective!—-may appear. Keeps it interesting.
For the past ten years, my husband Jim has been researching and writing a book about the New York/New Jersey port, crime on the waterfront, the longshoremen who used to unload the ships that came into the harbor, their unions, the mobsters behind the scenes (and sometimes not so very behind), and the Jesuit John “Pete” Corridan, legendary waterfront priest. It’s been a huge project, during which phrases like “found in a lime-pit,” “whacked,” “code of silence,” “containerization,” “Mr. Big” (and I don’t mean that “Mr. Big“) have become part of the vocabulary around here. Jim mailed off the manuscript last week and there’s much in the book that reminds you that there’s a talk show personality’s savage language, and there’s real, brute, violence. Real savagery that goes beyond hot air, and I’m grateful that we’re wrangling about here is words and language.
Be seeing you on the autismfront.
Tags: allen ginsburg, asd, asperger, autism, autism blog, beats, disabilities blog, disability, Family, family blog, Health, Language, mafia, michael savage, mob, mr. big, new york, on the waterfront, parenthood, Parenting, patient, pdd-nos, stephanie kleinRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Language, Stereotypes, Vaccines
29 opinions for The R Word and Not So Nice Language
hammie
Jul 23, 2008 at 6:46 am
Gawd! and here we are wondering about the use of the word “autistic” in comparison to “has autism”. I don’t like the first as it has connotations of the child only being “autistic”; without all the other aspects of their personality and intelligence being considered. But I use it, sometimes. Whereas “has autism” also leaves room for; has sense of humor, affection and love for us; great visual memory, academic intelligence, excellent problem solving and all the rest. ( I could go on for hours)
But when I want to talk to a radio host or the woman at the council I have to use the simplest term “autistic”.
Given that the cognitive ability of our kids has always been underestimated, can we not consider that advances will be made for mental impairment and intellectual disabilities which open up the possiblity that they do understand, and are incredibly hurt by such terms.
In comparitive studies of language; Children with Downs Syndrome were found to have the ability to learn up to 300 different autoclytics (colloquial and emotional phrases which imply without direct statement) Typically developing kids could learn about 500. Kids with autism learned 1, the first one. Because they could see no need not to say exactly what they need.
So the kids with Downs showed greater emotional understanding of nuance than had been originally percieved.
How do we know this isnt true of mental impairment ? The brain is an amazing organ. We cannot completely measure where and how damage will affect it. So in the absence of speech and the ability to imitate; should we then infer that “they don’t understand” when we refer to “them” as retarded? How do we know they don’t understand the emotion and feel very hurt and de-humanised?
I always think of how difficult it was for me to get a disabled parking badge when the kids were smaller. I needed it to get a wide car space so the doors would open wide enough to crowbar the kids into their special car seats. I needed it so I could park up close to the door to minimise opportunities to run away. I needed it because I had two huge children in a double pram.
But my kids were not physically DIS-abled. They were SUPER abled. Super able to twist and turn an withstand pain to get out of their safety harnesses. Super able to run away and across busy parking lots. Super able to tip over a pram and injure themselves and their sister. So I had to be able to bring the pram right up to the car door, not leave it up on the kerb. I had to be close to the doors so I could keep a grip on both of them. I had to minimise dangers.
I think now that maybe the term handicap could be re-considered. In the context of golf or horse-racing, means coming from a slower start, carrying more weight or being held back a bit to begin with. But the champions overcome these handicaps and win anyway.
My kids continue to amaze me at how they deal with their individual handicaps; and use their Super abilities to compensate for some late starts and an extra challenge or two.
xx
laurentius-rex
Jul 23, 2008 at 8:28 am
Well as for what to rebel against, what have you got?
It’s a wonder someone hasn’t “whacked” this Savage geezer by now, truth, justice and the American way and all :)
Incidentally want another fight, this time about turning us into frogs, come hither
http://tinyurl.com/5p2kou
http://tinyurl.com/5rrqot
farmwifetwo
Jul 23, 2008 at 9:04 am
Yes, we as a society in general have become WAY to PC. We can’t speak for fear of offending someone.
Hammie “Gawd! and here we are wondering about the use of the word “autistic” in comparison to “has autism”.
I prefer HAS AUTISM for the very reason’s you mentioned. Label’s in general can make assumptions about people and children. I have been told now more than once my youngest has surprised everyone by how smart he is….. Which is why he’s integrated properly and I’ll keep pushing to keep it that way.
Then you get the opposite problem with my eldest who appears “normal” and then they blame him when they hit the “autism” part of the label instead of recognizing it’s existance. How easy is it to forget how far he’s come in so short a period of time.
Keeps life entertaining :) Although, there are days…. arguing with the school gets old.
S.
laurentius-rex
Jul 23, 2008 at 9:41 am
There is PC and there is PC to no purpose, which is the oppressive euphemisation of those who are not us telling us what we should call ourselves.
I am Autistic, Artistic, Fantastic, Lambastic.
(and I hope never less than entertaining)
Synesthesia
Jul 23, 2008 at 9:44 am
PC-ness can be frustrating, but I’d rather hear a term like mentally delayed than retarded. Retarded just strikes me as rude and dehumanizing, like some of the stuff I’ve read people say about autism that just annoys me.
I don’t think it captures just how complicated the human mind can be and it gets in the way of learning more about how autistic people REALLY are so that they can be helped and understood instead of shunned.
Mr Big *Snicker*
Folks ought to just first and formost respect each other.
more later when I am not so distracted by being hungry.
Regan
Jul 23, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I think these things very much depend on the speaker and listener roles. If I call myself a fool, that’s one thing, but if I call someone else one, if I’m not simply trying to get a barb in, I guess I’d better find out how s/he feels about it. And vice-versa.
I think calling something PC is a preemptive way of dismissing objections and excusing one’s self, not much different from, “hey, don’t be so sensitive!”. Verbal behavior has a lot of power, and I think that’s obvious, otherwise any words would not have the capacity to wound as hard as any stone, or conversely lighten the soul and lift the emotion. The particular words do matter, both individually, and as part of a verbal community.
I have a great respect for humor in my life but for quite a long time now, since junior high really, I have not found a particular need to make humor at someone else’s expense in order to find humor.
Cliff
Jul 23, 2008 at 12:24 pm
“Gawd! and here we are wondering about the use of the word ‘autistic’ in comparison to “has autism”. I don’t like the first as it has connotations of the child only being ‘autistic’; without all the other aspects of their personality and intelligence being considered. But I use it, sometimes. Whereas ‘has autism’ also leaves room for; has sense of humor, affection and love for us; great visual memory, academic intelligence, excellent problem solving and all the rest. ( I could go on for hours)”
I normally wouldn’t hit upon this question again, but this was a bit, um, bizarre for me. Extend this logic a small step to the general (which it implies); a direct personal modifier only implies the modifier’s quality about a person and leaves room for nothing else. So could you seriously say, with a straight face, that the phrase “black man” leaves no room for any other kinds of qualities? “Blonde girl”? Should we delegate everything to separatist language, then?
Cliff
Karen
Jul 23, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I’m w/ laurentis — I don’t see referring to my son as autistic is hurtful or harmful. That’s just one way to describe him. He’s a whole bunch of other things too. I try to learn from autistic adults that I know and respect. I attach no negative connotation when I call him autistic.
I appreciate Klein’s discourse. For me, the most empowering thing has been to talk about my son’s issues to others with love and respect. I find that if I don’t make a big deal (cause mostly, it’s really not a big deal to me) about his sensory issues or whatever, others follow my lead. Fear and intolerance breeds more of the same.
Regan
Jul 23, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Now that’s where it goes awry for me.
In one audience to say “autistic” is to raise hackles and in another to say “has autism” does the same.
In our family, the person most immediately concerned does not have a stated preference, but if and when she does, that is the one I would most respect.
Currently in the meantime I say “diagnosed with autism”, which is weasly but has the advantage of flat fact.
Let me throw something out–I have always had bouts of depression, no doubt neurologic and inherited, from childhood. In the old days, I have seen phraseology that would refer to me as a “depressive”. How much depression would be required to make it so to someone unfamiliar to me? What image is conjured? My personal feeling is that I am certainly more than the sum of that label, and honestly, the cultural connotations do not make that summing up a good thing. However, if being a “depressive” carried some cultural belief of some advantage or positive qualities, vs. the negative connotations, I might embrace it and run with it. Currently, when in a bout, I “have depression”.
Patrick
Jul 23, 2008 at 1:06 pm
I really don’t care whether someone would say that Patrick is autistic or Patrick has autism, but that’s just the opinion of a (/grin) Person with Asperger’s. How else would one say that? Aspergic, Aspergian? Some things just fit better in the common use patterns of our language. Until we have a genetic test to prove/disprove the degree of my condition, I will continue to call myself austistic.
For the R word, I think it mainly depends upon context, or respectful usage, and the connotations the audience might have from their own past.
Technically, I am socially retarded. I have no problem with that. But when others use it in the cognitive sense, people might be sensitized from it’s use from the 60’s (or even earlier) up to the present.
While I think (know) it might be offensive to some to hear the ‘tard cart’ phrase, it did make me smile inside. (My mental image was influenced by the pediatric walker phrase, how could anything be more cute than a kid eh? Even if the kid has a walker or braces on limbs or arm crutches.) Though I hardly think calling a walker a cart fits, unless it is like the kind of walker for training toddlers.
Hell, I even was amused with Kim S’s Crapisode phrase.
Ramble done, though I don’t know if it even helped.
Bonnie Sayers
Jul 23, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I was reading that blog earlier and had a feeling you were the parent she was referring to. This is very similar to the use of the N word. Others cannot use it but those of color can.
I think parents using negative words towards autism and their kids, etc is not helping unify the autism community at all. It scares the general public more and then they feel they can use these terms since the parents do.
I try to stay positive and write about living with autism, not about vaccines, cures, prevention, etc.
Now that I am reading more blogs I am finding some so melodramatic and the terminology just turns me off. I read one with the C word and others with the F word. I would rather read more books and do reviews than read those blogs.
The last month has been a wake up call for me as I started a blog and wanted to market that and the BellaOnline site. I do not know who half these people are that spoke at BlogHer or what even that site was. It seemed to be a big party fest for many who are still talking about it and I have yet to see any parenting styles or actual sharing of techniques.
laurentius-rex
Jul 23, 2008 at 2:02 pm
And of course some folk can self define as “crips”
http://tinyurl.com/63cf8u
Nabil Shaban even goes so far as to entertain the notion that the term originated at a place not very far from me, my former college no less :)
http://tinyurl.com/6rhcue
Yes there is a whole big debate going on about disability identity politics, of which our Autistic island is a bit offshore sometimes :)
http://tinyurl.com/6n74t5
At least I like to keep my connections with the mainland, and will be at the Disability Studies Association conference again this year.
Daisy
Jul 23, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Accuracy is important. Call me hearing impaired, call me disabled, call me handicapped, but don’t call me “deaf” or “deaf and dumb.”
Emily
Jul 23, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I like autistic. It’s an adjective, among many, to describe someone. My son is blond, tall, funny, autistic, creative, curious, gangly, and sweet. He’s also a boy with blond hair, an unusually great height, an autism diagnosis, an ability to make people laugh, high creativity and curiosity, a certain awkwardness, and an indubitable sweetness. Really, the first thing I think about when I think of him is “sweet.” Funny comes second. But that doesn’t mean he’s not also autistic. I guess if you think “autistic” is negative, then maybe it’s not an adjective you’d like to use. But my personal experience with my son, including his autism, has not been any more negative relative to positive than my personal experiences with my allegedly “NT” son. I don’t describe the latter as “my son with neurotypicality.”
Guess it depends on whether or not you ascribe to Jefferson’s admonition that usually, one word is better than two.
I’m an odd, fierce, mouthy, occasionally depressed, mercurial, sensitive, neurologically challenged, busy, happy, brunette mother, wife, and academic. Or am I a motherly academic or an academic mother with brown hair who’s married and has some prickly personality traits?
hammie
Jul 23, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Wow, I guess to clarify. When I say “autistic”, I worry that it will be percieved as a one dimensional description which brings to mind a stereo type like “Rainman”. Whereas we all know that ASDs can manifest in subtle and minute variations which defy definition. I really think that saying “has autism” just makes me feel better. Whether it allows the listener to open their minds is outside of my control.
Today, after I typed a reply to Kristina’s original post, I drove over to collect my son from school and go see “Wall E”.
I had pre-arranged with the cinema manager to sit in “the VIP” section at the back, as I had heard the first part of the movie is dialogue free and suspected that Boo’s audio commentary might be invasive to other patrons. When I arrived today while Boo did his hollering sprints of the foyer, I asked for the manager and the young girl said “are the woman with the autistic kid?, Dave said to say you can go straight up to the VIP section with just a normal priced ticket”
How could I object to that?
For the record, as an Aussie living in Ireland I quite happily use the term “Autie” to describe myself and my family as we all have it in one form or another. Australians are grammatically lazy as you know and shorten most words, Truckie, Surfie, Brickie, Stubbie, to name but a few. So I use it as an affectionate term. I have found recently that other parents have begun to identify with it and in turn embrace their own “inner autie” which helps them to understand their child.
Thank you Kristina for once again giving me so much to consider. And to all of you clever people who comment. Wow!
xx
Emily
Jul 23, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Is “Hammie” a shortening of something, or a longening? (…which is like “embiggening” but never has been on The Simpsons).
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jul 23, 2008 at 7:19 pm
When I heard Klein ask her question after the panel, I wanted to respond too—-wanted to say something about how it can differ for parents to use terms, in contrast to a person with a disability using that term themselves. I found her post interesting in that it started with an example of outwardly and intentionally cruel language (the drink mercury comment) and then asked if it’s ever possible to use some terms that might cruel, but without a cruel intention.
I also felt the question was really beyond the room at BlogHer—-perhaps what’s needed would be a panel on the language that we use, that is used to blog with, in talking about child, disabilities.
Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful comments here; have more to say and am glad to get your views, very very glad.
29 Marbles / A meditation on censorship
Jul 23, 2008 at 8:21 pm
[…] from 365 Tao (June 13). It’s been on my mind lately, and Kristina Chew’s recent post The R Word and Not So Nice Language has prompted me to share. Emperors uphold censorship, But extreme repression leads to extreme […]
Club 166
Jul 23, 2008 at 11:07 pm
I find this whole question quite like the one of who should be allowed to use the “N” word (derogatory word used to refer to African-Americans, sometimes used in an affectionate way by blacks themselves). Personally, I think the “N” word is so offensive that it should be retired from the lexicon. I think that the “R” word should be retired, too, as it has a definite pejorative connotation.
I think that the use of the word “crip” is different, in that a) the use of the original “cripple” had already dropped out of usage by the time “crip” came into usage, and b) “crip” is a derivative of the original word.
Joe
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jul 23, 2008 at 11:57 pm
@Hammie,
One great thing (just one of course) about naming Charlie “Charles” is the endless list of nicknames possible.
Charlie, Cholly, Chuck, Chuckster, Chuckie (I don’t like this). Chucky Boy, Cholly Boy, Carolus (Latin version), Chas, Cha Cha……..
Justthisguy
Jul 24, 2008 at 6:11 am
Didn’t Albert Einstein say something like, “My intellectual development was retarded”?
I mean, he was a pretty sharp guy, with a Nobel Prize, and all, so shouldn’t we take his word that he was retarded?
Regan
Jul 24, 2008 at 6:55 am
There might be a little more to the quotation,
“My intellectual development was retarded, as a result of which I began to wonder about space and time only when I had already grown up.”
Albert Einstein
But on that theme there might be something more at the heart of the issue,
“Nothing has more retarded the advancement of learning than the disposition of vulgar minds to ridicule and vilify what they cannot comprehend”
Samuel Johnson
laurentius-rex
Jul 24, 2008 at 3:00 pm
So I can never retard the mechanism of a clock which is fast or the ignition of a car then?
So many terms have fell into bad usage, that we have to at least rescue Autistic while we still can.
Thing is today’s euphemism inevitably becomes tomorrow’s pejorative, and then in time moves on to incomprehensibility when it becomes an archaism.
Even more difficult is the realisation that the same word, or it’s close cognates and etymological antecedents in other cultures simply does not have the same semiotic significance.
There is a lot of exchange between the US and the UK since we both speak variants of the same language, and via the hegemony of US dominance of popular culture, the R word becomes an insult in this country.
However it is not often realised that there are very considerable cultural difference between the two English speaking communities, every bit as large as those between English and French speakers. The surface similarity blinds us all to that, whereas we more readily recognise the difference between a culture who does not share the same basic orthography.
Club 166
Jul 24, 2008 at 4:25 pm
…So I can never retard the mechanism of a clock which is fast or the ignition of a car then? …
Well, with quartz movements and computer controlled fuel injection, it would be a bit difficult. :)
I don’t think anyone is arguing against such usage of a word in a totally different context.
And yes, England and the U.S. are two countries separated by the same language.
Joe
laurentius-rex
Jul 24, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I am an atavist, until recently I drove a 70’s land rover and I have antique clocks.
laurentius-rex
Jul 25, 2008 at 5:48 am
Yes it is a peculiarity of the language that Asperger’s lends itself to a different construction than autism, one of the mysteries of language, like Celtic consonantal mutations that give us Mhaire pronounced as Varry.
It is in part explicable by the fact that Asperger’s Syndrome is an eponymous construction with a possessive.
So if I took Sally Marbles off her, I would have Sally’s Marbles :)
“Tard Cart” is an expression, even in humour I find offensive because it is essentially stigmatising an aid or adaptation. It would be like calling my laptop a “tard ‘puter” because I was provided it as an adaptation to dyslexia.
Justthisguy
Jul 26, 2008 at 12:26 am
Oh, Larry, have you ever thought about “smart” bombs and retarded bombs? The former know where to go, and go there, and explode. The latter have arrangements about their tail fins which pop out as soon as released from the airplane, slowing them down very quickly so that the airplane which delivered them can be gone before they explode.
I think there was a railroad gizmo called a retarder, too, at one time. Maybe I’ll try to look it up.
I think of my cat. He’s a slow thinker, for a cat, but a very deep one. Given time, he can figure things out which are important to him.
In the meantime, he has quick reflexes
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