Today’s Man: A Documentary about Nicky Gottlieb
Today’s Man is a new documentary about 28-year-old Nicky Gottlieb, who has Asperger’s syndrome; the film was made by his sister, New York director Lizzie Gottlieb. You can go here and watch a short preview of the film, in which Nicky Gottlieb’s parents, Robert Gottlieb (who was Editor in Chief of Simon and Schuster, Knopf, and of The New Yorker) and actress Maria Tucci, describe his babyhood: When he was nine months old, Gottlieb had a number of seizures; his mother also noted that he “connected” in a different way to people. A top New York neurologist told his parents that Gottlieb might never talk and might be a “vegetable”—– on the preview, you can see a black and white video of Gottlieb saying his first word, “bread.”
Gottlieb was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome when he was 21 years old, after his sister had started to make her documentary about him. New York magazine has a short Q & A with Lizzie Gottlieb (one question asked is “Given your bookish family, do you believe that Asperger’s is just an extreme form of genetic nerdiness?”). The January 2nd webzine Shuffleboil has an extensive interview with Lizzie Gottlieb in which she talks about growing up with a brother on the autism spectrum, but with no diagnosis; her brother’s school experiences; and what he is doing now. Says Lizzie Gottlieb:
He had these extraordinary abilities, the languages, he had these incredible math abilities, and I think I felt really proud and really impressed, and I think because there was no diagnosis, on the one hand it was hard, because there was no feeling of community, no sense of him being part of something, but on the other hand, there was no limit to what he might achieve. He had these extraordinary, savant-like abilities and I felt that was the most special thing in the world. I had a magical brother and I could understand him in a way that nobody else could. As a kid, I felt like I got to be a parent of this extraordinary being.
It was harder when I grew up and he grew up. I think as he got older, he had been this extraordinary, limitless child and he became this very strange young man. He looks older than is and I think it’s harder now because he’s not a genius child with problems, he’s a man that people look at and think is strange and that’s hard.
Today’s Man will have its US television premiere on PBS’ Independent Lens tomorrow on January 8, 2008.
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POSTED IN: Adulthood, Asperger's Syndrome, Movies, Siblings
34 opinions for Today’s Man: A Documentary about Nicky Gottlieb
Sarah
Jan 7, 2008 at 2:58 pm
It sounds interesting, but I have to say that I hate the fact that he says “Physically I’m a man…but mentally and emotionally I’m a boy”, as though there were only one way to mentally and emotionally be adult. I wish people (including people on the spectrum themselves) would realize that these kind of statements are actually degrading to adults with developmental disabilities–who really are adults.
Marla
Jan 7, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I agree with Sarah above. I guess though if that his how he feels than that is his reality. I will watch this show. Thanks for sharing.
Daisy
Jan 7, 2008 at 6:06 pm
I highly recommend the book “The Truth Out There.” Although fiction, it does a nice job of working with a supporting character with Asperger’s syndrome who is now an adult, a computer games creator.
BA
Jan 7, 2008 at 6:23 pm
“Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s” by John Elder Robison
Leila
Jan 7, 2008 at 6:40 pm
I’d wash this program if it weren’t going to be broadcast so damn late (11:30 p.m or 1:30 a.m.)!
Bink
Jan 7, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Geez, my 39 year old typical husband pulls that “mentally and emotionally I’m a boy” stuff. Sounds like a regular guy to me. :-)
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jan 7, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Bink, think you might be onto something…….(referencing my household, ahem……)….
Emily
Jan 7, 2008 at 8:27 pm
When I read that quote from him, I attributed it to what I consider a kind of “Aspie” categorization tendency. He seems to have a naive perception that simply turning 21 means that most boys become men, and that he’s left out because that didn’t happen to him. It struck me as a childlike or basic or naive way of characterizing “boy vs. man.” So….it seemed really Aspie-ish to me, a kind of adherence to what he thinks are the “rules” about these things. I do NOT mean by that that people with Asperger’s are childlike in general, but I think that naivete can be a characteristic.
I watched the video of the interviews culminating in the old home video of his first word. I was in tears.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jan 7, 2008 at 9:15 pm
When I watched the video, phrases like him being a child who did not “connect” stood out to me—–his mother rephrased herself, I think—-and I reminded myself, this really was a different time. Change does happen—–I also noted how Lizzie Gottlieb noted that, in the film, her brother seems happy to be in an Asperger’s support group, but then says he is not going back.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jan 7, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Today’s NY Times has an article on the movie.
Kev2
Jan 7, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Sarah: How is being an adult with a developmental disability different from being an Aspergian adult? Last I checked Aspergians were developmentally disabled.
On a side note, I look forward to watching this documentary.
Kev2
Jan 7, 2008 at 10:32 pm
On second thought, I think I’m being rude. Let me know if I’m wrong, Sarah. :)
Charles
Jan 7, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I haven’t seen the movie, to be clear. But I am annoyed by the perception that it casts Aspies as “losers”. As an Aspie who has had a very active romantic life (with neurotypicals) and been very successful, I don’t like the implication. I find Aspergers is a spectrum, and though it can make our lives harder in some ways, I find it makes my life easier in others. The amount of Aspies who run hedge funds is not coincidental.
Emily
Jan 8, 2008 at 12:00 am
Charles, I don’t find from the descriptions that Nicky comes across as a “loser” (he wasn’t cast, you know; he just is). He’s working as a math tutor, among other things, and his goal is independent living. You’re lucky, as an Aspie–or anyone–with an active romantic life to have the life you do, but the spectrum designation suggests that not everyone will follow that particular path, or any definable, predictable path. The thing is, that could be said of any of us, spectrum or not.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jan 8, 2008 at 12:50 am
Speculation only goes so far, but so much may have been different for Gottlieb with an earlier diagnosis. Kamran Nazeer’s Send in the Idiots might be interesting to consider in comparison, as Nazeer is just a few years old than Gottlieb and attended a “special school” in New York.
Sarah
Jan 8, 2008 at 2:19 am
Actually, Kev, I meant to use the term “having a developmental disability” and Asperger’s pretty interchangeably. Hope that clears things up. :)
Emily
Jan 8, 2008 at 9:52 am
Kristina, my husband sent me this story, and he commented that Nicky might be deeper in the spectrum than our oldest, and I told him that who knows how Nicky would be today if he had experienced from age 3 or 4 what our son has, instead of being diagnosed at 21. Things are different now, thank goodness. I often think how at our wit’s ends we would be about our son…so capable in some ways, so not in many others…if we weren’t as aware as we now are. We’d be mystified and frustrated, and he’d probably already be on some road to misery.
Documentary tonight - Today’s Man « Good Fountain
Jan 8, 2008 at 5:22 pm
[…] in Uncategorized at 4:22 pm by Good Fountain Kristina Chew at Autism Vox wrote yesterday about a documentary premiering tonight on PBS. It sounds very interesting and I have my DVR set to record it. The documentary was made by the […]
Kev2
Jan 9, 2008 at 12:09 am
Having just watched the film, I can make a few statements about it: As Sarah mentioned, there definitely has to be some disability training. People with Asperger’s need to understand that they have a developmental disability, and that there are things that they need to learn about how they work, and how the world works.
Kev2
Jan 9, 2008 at 12:12 am
Actually, kill that ‘abuse’ comment if you are able to, Kristina. I don’t think it related to what I was trying to say. Sorry about that.
Emily
Jan 9, 2008 at 12:25 am
Grrrr…our local station did NOT show this film; instead, it was a doc about kids with bipolar disorder–same show, different doc. Why? WHY? I was pretty disappointed. I try to make “appointment television” about once a year, but the expected program was a no-show. :(
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jan 9, 2008 at 12:42 am
@Kev2, it’s gone……..
@Emily, argh!
mary palculict
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:48 am
I watched a documentary done by the sister of a gentleman who supposedly has Asperger’s syndrome. I dont believe its AS. I believe its fullblown classic Kanners autism, or if it is AS then he also has mild retardation. Here is why. ONe of the Diagnostic criteria that distinguishes AS from Kanners is that there is no develomental delay of speech. One of the first things that was mentioned was that the young man did not speak until he was I believe 5 or so. Also, the majority of people with AS have normal to high IQs. This guy, although savant (he’d ask people their birthdays and would know immediately what day of the week it was), he would obviously not do well on an IQ test. They called him a child genious but I dont believe that genious and savant are the same. He had an unusual ability but was a far cry from being “intelligent.” All in all, I was a little disappointed that there was never even a mention of the official Dx criteria for AS.
mary palculict
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:52 am
The best resource guide I’ve found for the topic is Tony Attwood’s “Complete guide to Asperger’s Syndrome.” I encourage one and all to check it out.
Kev2
Jan 9, 2008 at 11:06 am
Mary: I noticed that too. His savant abilities were impressive but are they Aspergian? When he mentioned that there is no God early on in the program, he triggered a weird phenomenon in my brain that usually only occurs during sleep - and then only during a dream that has recurred since I was an infant. It’s a weird feeling of eerie detachment that is as enticing as it is sickening. Anyway, it’s annoying, and I’m glad it left as I was watching the program.
I think Nicky may need some disability training. The lack of recognition of how adults operate is a clear sign that he hasn’t faced up to the fact that you can’t expect the world to revolve around you. People with autism can be part of the world, but the world will never, ever revolve around them.
Norah
Jan 9, 2008 at 2:30 pm
|No speech delay being a requirement for Asperger depends a lot on which diagnostic method is applied. Some of them have actually required a speech delay. The official diagnosis isn’t all -that- meaningful in many ways, especially when the -only- difference between “classic autism” and Asperger is how early you started talking (not even how well you’re doing at it now). In practice it’s an even bigger muddle, with the ones giving out the diagnosis having to pick one as they see fit, because someone would have fit several categories. In a lot of places they’re already doing away with the different diagnoses and just calling all of it ASD, with the specifics having to be defined person by person.
As for early diagnosis: it has both pros and cons. There are several things that make me wish I had received my diagnosis as a child, and there are also several things that make me very, very glad I did not receive it until I was 24. All in all, in terms of ‘treatment’, I doubt I would have ‘improved’ more with it (in the way that people generally mean it: as in acting less autistic and more NT), although real assistance would have made a lot of other things easier for me. Still, I’m getting that now anyway and anything I missed out on back then I can still catch up on.
If you have language problems an IQ test won’t say much about your intelligence. I question the worth of one even when the person tested by it is the kind of person the test is made for.
Regan
Jan 9, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Emily and anyone else who missed the show,
You might want to check the Independent Lens
Broadcast guide:
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/broadcast.html
My station out west didn’t air the program yesterday. Our local scheduled broadcast is for Sunday, with a repeat available, so there seems to be some variability.
Kristina Chew, PhD
Jan 9, 2008 at 3:05 pm
The with Lizzie Gottlieb went into a lot of detail. She said this about what seems to have been her brother’s attempt to attend a post-secondary education program:
Emily
Jan 9, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Regan….thanks for that info.
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Marla Comm
Jan 16, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Society has yet to face the fact that autistic children grow up to become autistic adults and that even some of the most intelligent ones need support services in order to live on their own. Social service providers don’t know what to do with these adults because they don’t fit into any of the existing categories. The lowest functioning ones who are also intellectually challenged continue to live in group homes or institutions, while the highest functioning super-achievers the media does publicize have only mild impairments that don’t interfere with independent living skills
I live in Montreal, Canada and am one of those normally intelligent but severely autistic and semi-autonomous adults who fall through the cracks. Diagnosed with autism at age 3, I also have Tourette’s Syndrome and personality disorder along with the sensory irritability and motor skill impairments that often accompany autism. Although I can look after personal hygiene, routine shopping, bill payments and some other tasks and even hold a part time clerical job if the workplace is flexible enough to provide the adaptations I need, I have trouble with all tasks that depend heavily on dexterity, visual-spatial skills, social skills, focus, organization and higher order cognitive skills like decision making and planning. I often spend hours just trying to find things. My low frustration tolerance, sensory irritation that worsens in response to frustration and underlying deficits make it impossible to do household chores properly or even tolerate them. These tasks irritate my nerves so much they set off fierce rages where I break things and bite my arms to shreds.
The particular wiring abnormalities I was born with also left me without the ability to cope with change, tolerate even the most trivial stressors or have the ambition to develop interests. All it takes is a disruption like a blackout to break my tenuous hold on fragile skills and set off a meltdown that people who don’t know about autism confuse with a psychotic break. When hard and uncertain times set in around the turn of the millennium, my moods and behavior problems got worse and my negative disposition deteriorated into outright nihilism.
In order to function at his best, an autistic adult has to be matched to the right living environment and get the support he needs. I happen to be stuck in an especially tough and inappropriate living situation that I wouldn’t wish on any severely disabled adult. Montreal is a troubled, angry and poorly managed big city with a manic pace of life and vicious climate that keeps me housebound for days and has me teetering on the edge of a meltdown with violent storms. Like all parts of Quebec, it became a predominantly French society that makes life difficult for people who don’t speak the language. The last thing an autistic whose grip on language is weak to begin with needs is to have a foreign language shoved down his throat. I also struggle to cope with the demands of a regular part time job and full load of adult responsibilities.
I am in this mess because my parents went into denial when I was diagnosed at age 3, raised me as a “normal” child, expected me to function as well as my nondisabled sister and punished me for failing. They never gave any thought to my needs as a disabled adult because they didn’t even think I was disabled. I am now stuck with no support at all except for my elderly father, who is still in partial denial and is getting worn out from his role as my only support person. When he passes on I will have nobody, not a soul! Montreal has no support services for adults with my needs. I’m worn out from spending years trying in vain to get help with the tasks I have difficulty with and being bounced around like a ball.
One would expect an intelligent autistic like me to thrive and build resilience in such a challenging environment. Sadly, that did not happen. All I got for straining myself for so many years and fending for myself with no support was the burnout some high functioning adults who lead stressful lives and don’t get the services they need are prone to. If anything, my fragile nerves just got weaker from the wear and tear.
I laud Lizzie Gottlieb for showing the public what life can really be like for adults with Asperger Syndrome.
-Marla
Kev2
Jan 22, 2008 at 8:22 pm
I apologize for the line “People with autism can be part of the world, but the world will never, ever revolve around them.” I just realized my cat has a bit more autism than I do (yes, some cats have Asperger’s Syndrome). I feel really guilty.
Kev2
Jan 27, 2008 at 4:57 am
This is the last time, I swear: Sorry, I was confused. From a clinical perspective, cats don’t have AS. They have something perhaps autism related, but it’s not what humans experience as AS.
I apologize for trying to be a doctor. I know this may be bringing insight to the psychological community, but I’m not a doctor so I’m not going to do this anymore.
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