Teaching Strategy #10: What To Do in the Inbetween Times?
Niksmom, who blogs at Maternal Instincts—Flying By the Seat of My Pants, has written a “Cry for Help.” Nike has multiple disabilities and exceptional needs including cerebral palsy and seizures and is on the autism spectrum; last week he was in the hospital for a respiratory infection and also a skin infection. His mom, whom I have been fortunate to “meet” via this blog and her thoughtful comments, has a question that resonates a lot with me:
…..what do I do with Nik in all those waking hours between giving meds, tube feedings, changing diapers and just plain old playing with him? Maybe I am getting caught up in the trap of “keeping up with the Joneses” as I read about moms doing their home ABA programs and RDI and such. I‘m so new to the autism game that I don’t know what those things really are —beyond some vague theoretical understanding —or how to begin to use them. How do I begin to learn some simple things to do at home with Nik so that he’s not just left to his own devices for a large part of the day? [my emphasis]
Niksmom’s questions bring back so many memories for me: What to do with all the “between time,” between therapy sessions, trips in the car, meals, baths, etc.? Some things that are not as taxing as actually teaching something or doing therapy—-when Charlie was younger, simply rolling a ball around was an activity demanding much effort on my part and more on his—and that keep a child engaged?
(Niksmom’s question is on my mind right now because Charlie’s ABA session just got cancelled……)
Niksmom also writes:
I would love some input on good resources for concrete things to try with a three year old who does not yet walk, does not talk, doesn’t have the most consistent fine motor skills, and the attention span of a, well, three year old. Cognitively, no one really knows where Nik is yet. Personally, I think he’s a smart little guy who takes absolutely everything in and tries to figure out how it all works. Music is a big motivator for him, as are toys that light up.
One thing I have to say that I have learned over the years: Sometimes just sitting together on the couch, with a blanket or music in the background or the TV on is enough. Or staring out the window together. ……Charlie has always needed some extra time to “process” or (as I prefer to put it) think through things. That said, I have tried hard (especially when he was younger) to have toys around that offered some sort of sensory experience. There are many websites (such as the Autismshop that offer all kinds of squishy, sticky, fuzzy, stringy, texture-y (see what being an autism mother does to one’s vocabulary) toys and there’s also more everyday sorts of items, like anything from polarfleece, water in a Tupperware……….. Charlie also used to like the Lauri puzzles (made of foam) a lot.
Hope you will check out Nik’s Story and I’d like too to know of any good “between time” things that you do.
Related Stories
POSTED IN: Q & A, Sensory, Teaching Strategies, Time, Toys
9 opinions for Teaching Strategy #10: What To Do in the Inbetween Times?
Julie
May 9, 2007 at 8:00 pm
I have found that sometimes just sitting with and getting to know who Rebekah is as an individual is my favorite thing to do in the inbetween times.
Lisa/Jedi
May 9, 2007 at 8:58 pm
When Brendan was younger we would take normal activities & make them extraordinary… lunch would become a “picnic on the moon” ala Wallace & Gromit, by putting a blanket on the kitchen floor & having tea from a thermos & cheese & crackers. Everything looked different from the floor, rather than our usual seats at the table. We had tea-parties, too. :) When Brendan got into Thomases we would put together layouts together & run the trains along the tracks. Brendan wasn’t good at playing on his own, so I had to participate in order for it to happen. Also, watching tv together & talking about the shows has always been a good thing to do together. Years ago I also babysat for lots of kids with CP, spina bifida, etc. We liked to do memory games (with cards laid-out where the kids could reach them, somtimes on their stomachs on the floor), recite rhymes, sing songs, & play imaginative games (conversations between puppets & dolls)…
Joeymom
May 9, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Talking is a good thing to do. Even before Joey had words, we spent a lot of time in his window. I would talk about what he was seeing, what was out there, what he had been doing that day, what I had been doing that day, anything I could think of. Joey is also fond of certain electronic toys with “academic value”, such as the Franklin follow-the-leader toy, the leapfrog writing desk, and there’s a Franklin phonics toy. This are especially good if he’s not feeling well, because he can go ahead and perserverate if he wants, and they still have value. We also made some of our own file folder games, to play when waiting for appointments. We use a lot of velcro, so we can change the game inside (otherwise he memorizes them in about two minutes). There’s also “teaching play skills”, where you can just get down on the floor and play with the blocks or the teaset or the construction bench or the cars, and model how these toys are played with “normally” and talk about playing and stories andthings.
Caroline
May 9, 2007 at 10:08 pm
My child lost appropriate play skills that used to be strong. It is tough to see lack of independent play, but that should be a main focus of therapy if this is not a strength.
Kids can learn dependence from 1:1 all the time and as they are sponges for learning and interaction, crave attention - even if it is negative attention! making those snow days, or rainy saturdays tough on everyone.
nurturing independence in the area of play should be a key component of any program, and often it is completely overlooked.
what we do is give choices, use a kitchen timer. often an activity with mom is the reward but it used to be food!
a friend who did not do any intervention with her child other than a school program, had the most success I have ever seen in helping her child to talk. She kept a steady stream of commenting going, not asking questions, no Verbal behavior, no ABA.
I do this now, and my child really responds. I tell my child in simple terms about the stock market, for example, or politics, or history. Kids really like to listen and not always be ‘on’ to answer questions and have to come up with something. Like all of us!
I also talk about my own childhood and how I felt shy, or hated math, etc.
when my child was younger, and getting a lot of dumb questions all day long e.g., “what color is the block?” my child would say, with a little smile, ‘no more questions’. Cannot articulate that now, sadly.
music, ‘hanging out’, chatting, reading aloud, and some independent activities with the kitchen timer can work if the child is feeling well and up to it. I think it could work well for Nik! What a cutie!
Re: mouthing chewing inappropriate things - simply replace with safe OT sort of chew toy - with minimal language. Have these available during down times.
light up toys can be a problem re; seizures. at least flashing lights are for my child.
I realized I was not smiling much even though I was interacting all day long (cotton mouth) when I did smile and my child touched my mouth and said wonderingly, ‘teeth!’
sometimes a peaceful easy feeling is all one needs!
Niksmom
May 9, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Kristina, thanks so much for your post and your assistance. I’ve been getting some interesting feedback from people (some via email). I’ve posted a bit more information about where Nik’s evals and strengths, perseverations, etc. in an effort to give a better idea of what sorts of things he may be ready for.
Of course, I always think he’s ready for one thing and he takes months to get there. Conversely, the things I think he couldn’t possibly be ready for Nik seems to take to easily and masters them quickly. Go figure! He IS “scary smart” as one of his preschool paraprofessionals said recently. Yeah, I know. He can’t eat or talk but he’s sure got the mechanical aptitude down pat! LOL He UNPLUGGED THE PHONE yesterday…while I was on it!
Anyway, thanks for all the responses and suggestions. I do read some of them and think that we’re just “not there yet” but I know it will come. (See my post about “How does your garden grow?)
I especially like the ideas of simply getting on the floor and modeling play for/with Nik. He’s definitely not (yet) a sit and read to kind of guy. But we do “dance” together as I sing silly songs. He seems to like that a lot. And sliding (upside down, of course–my fearless wonder!) down his little “castle” slide.
Thanks, especially, for the reminders that I don’t have to be “teaching” or “doing therapy” with Nik all the time. It’s so easy to forget that.
Kristina Chew, PhD
May 9, 2007 at 10:33 pm
You’re more than welcome—-I am picking up some things from people’s responses too! If it’s a Little Tykes castle slide you have, once upon a time such graced Charlie’s room, and how he loved it.
Autism Vox » Only Connect
May 9, 2007 at 11:12 pm
[…] was a great thing to respond to an email from Niksmom and ask readers for suggestions about what to do during inbetween time. She notes that “it really helps to connect with all of you”—and I have to […]
Lolasmom
May 11, 2007 at 12:19 am
I know this is a bit off-topic, but I wanted to comment on Caroline’s suggestion re: OT chew toys. Lola was (and still is, to a certain extent) a “mouther” - crayons, toys, rocks, dog food (ugh), EVERYTHING went in her mouth. After a bit of careful observation, I learned to predict the types of things she mouthed (hard and/or chewy things) and realized she craved oral stimulation in the form of strong flavors and a strong chewing sensation. I redirected her dangerous mouthing toward more appropriate items - crunchy foods (raw carrots, apples, and uncooked macaroni - her favorite), and strong flavors (like spinach and black decaf starbucks coffee)- and her mouthing is down about 90%. I still struggle keeping her from plucking and chewing the flowers in my yard, though - no azaleas for me anytime soon!
Bonnie Sayers
Apr 27, 2008 at 12:50 am
I agree about just sitting under a blanket on the couch baving quiet time or watching a movie. This is what Matt likes to do and also drawing in a coloring book and he loves to look through photo albums so I will get a bunch out on the table and look thru them with him and remind him of the pics.
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: